Mejor/Peor Memoria de Niñez.
Un dilema de la mente creativa, es tener ideas tan, pero tan radicales, que no exista audiencia para recibirlas.
Acabo de tener una idea muy radical. En mi mundo ideal, la gente aceptariía algunas cosas como normal usando un poco de lógica y compasión. Sin miedo, sin emociones muy cargadas y sin tomarlo personal, mi vida y la de muchos otros encontrarían felicidad más a menudo y la compartirían con más frecuencia.
Pero que pena, que en nuestra sociedad cuando uno quiere disfrutar de algo que es completamente natural y personal, venga alguien a decirte que no puedes hacerlo. Que eso es inmoral, que te vas al infierno, que que clase de persona podría hacer cosa tal abiertamente. Por que, de que se puede hacer, se puede hacer. A oscuras, a escondidas, a espaldas; convirtiendo a gente realmente honesta, en huracanes de confusión, culpa, verguenza y sin poder aceptarse a si mismo… Pierde uno muchos amigos cuando se trata de ser honesto… Pero se pierde nuestra unicidad cuando no nos aceptamos por quien realmente somos.
Honestidad y soledad de la mano a veces van.
Todo es muy lento. El progreso es muy lento. Nuestra trayectoria en el universo, como evolucionamos penetrando las dimensiones de espacio y tiempo… es muy lento. A nuestros meros ojos humanos.
Me causa una sensación muy rara, pensarme parte de una generación que se crea a si misma libre, evolucionada, civilizada y *insertar carcajada* radical. Pensar que ideas radicales como las que tengo, no sean vividas y aceptadas en la duración de mi vida sería una pena de verdad.
Es tan radical mi idea (o por lo menos para mí) que no me atrevo a decir que es. Tal vez me toca a mí abrir la boca por los que quieren cambiar al mundo, pero no se atreven a hablar. Malditos hijos de puta. Cobardes somos todos. Cobardes de mierda.
Is there anyone out there?
Awareness. Enlightenment. Reflection. Connection. Gratitude.
Gratitude. Above all, gratitude.
Love. Do all with love.
Open your heart, let in the love, farewell your fears.
They all have names, your fears.
Open your heart. Journey within
and find love for yourself.
The soul within the vessel seeks your attention.
Honor that soul.
Respect the vessel. Love the vessel,
but you are not the vessel.
You are more the soul, you are more the thought.
The life within was merely granted
But it is anything from and everything but an accident.
Give thanks for that accident
for without it,
how could we have experienced anything?
The scent of flowers,
the taste of fruit.
The softness of the wind.
The sound of music,
the beat of a heart not your own.
The eyes that see you in a sea of millions.
A first kiss.
A second first kiss.
Desire to touch and be touched by the one you love,
including and starting
Every human experience
without the breath of life,
who is to say that all that is,
That you are real?
That anything is real?
So be thankful.
Give thanks to whatever or whomever you choose and
open your heart.
Open your mind.
Judge not your faults,
judge not your thoughts
for within you, there is a w[a/o]nderer
seeking the light,
seeking the answers.
Seeking the beauty.
Judge not the w[a/o]nderer,
for she merely w[a/o]nders.
Let her w[a/o]nder,
let her feel,
let her cry,
let her smile for heaven’s sake!
just let her BE
and accept her for all she is and does.
That acceptance will lead to the most incredible love story a soul can achieve.
All you can control
is your conscious choice
to give thanks,
When you do all these things…
you will be able to step back
and BEHOLD in awe
the spectacle of beauty
that exists around and within you.
Open your mind.
Open your heart.
You are free.
You are beautiful,
and I love you.
Too many thoughts in my … head. I don’t want to admit what I feel, what I think, much less tell anyone. I need help. I need to get out pf my head. I can’t see what is real. Too many people to let down, starting with myself. I thought I was so strong. I’m not … strong. I’m really tired of hoping. Tired of trying to see the good in everything and everyone. Everything moves towards destruction. Everyone is on self destruct. Giving meaning to all the bullshit does absolutely nothing. Some destroy themselves with drugs, food, alcohol, blades, guns. I do it with thoughts. I desire full control of my mind. I try to go blank. To not think. Nothing. Light. Love… I cling to hallmark mantras, hoping for clarity, for serenity, but I get nowhere and I feel nothing but panic and despair. Over bullshit. It is all bullshit. I wish I could disappear into the wilderness and connect with my animal self and think only of surviving and living off the land. No social rules, expectations or the unbelievable avalanche of bullshit that burries and suffocates me and us all. So much … So fucking much of life is bullshit, and so much bullshit is mistaken for vital that we grow not having a clue what is really important. We thrive on confussion, trading freedom for temporary gratification. We auction our identity to the highest bider, like prostitutes. We don’t know who we are. We don’t know what we need. I do know I need help. I don’t want these thoughts, no matter how messed up everything is… I want to imagine life could be different. Regardless of all the bullshit.
Sounds. They are all around me. The drops of rain hitting the grass. It’s not raining heavily, but the loud thud of these first few drops are promising a downpour. They sound different on different surfaces. Some sound like tears on paper, hitting the weakened yellow leaves on the tree knocking them off. The leaves ever so gracefully fall rustling in twisting spirals and pendulums… a leaf’s ballad to death. The rain presses on and more leaves follow creating a yellow-green spectacle before my eyes. Such elegance and beauty is the act of falling for leaves.
The song of birds has gently faded thought there seems to be a few tiny wrens who are singing in the rain. Their short high pitch song echoes and carries through the rain drops, the trees, the houses and the streets. The cars passing by, splashing the gathering water on the road. I can tell just by listening where the best puddles are.
The car in the garage still cooling from a few miles worth of work crackles like fire on metal… cling… crack… creak… clunk.
The afternoon grows cooler with each drop. I can feel my skin get bumpy under my clothes.
The rain is slowly stopping and the birds feel a bit more daring. Some are starting to come out of their hiding places and singing loudly on the tree branches. They comically puff and shake off their wet feathers and more leaves succumb to their movement.
The rain is regaining some strength and the wind is picking up behind her. The birds must have been singing a warning song: “more rain ahead, stay safe.” And my tree, ever so tall, ever so strong and beautiful continues to fall in the rain.
I can’t be the only one who is feeling this urge to scream. To really yell “BULLSHIT!” right at the face of the countless, COUNTLESS people who try to talk bullshit all goddamn day! Not just the bullshit we see on TV or hear in the News, but the backbone that holds all of the bullshit together… all the idiots who question nothing, who argue common sense with nonsense, always so keen to make you change your ways but they will not even consider questioning theirs. AHHHH why can I just do it? Why can’t I just say “YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT, AND YOU KNOW IT YOU FUCKING BASTARD!” AHHH!
What do you think would happen if you call everyone you know on their bullshit? Would it be a better world or would you just be too lonely? There should be a national holiday, just one day every 4 years at least, when you are allowed to be completely and brutally honest with anyone that crosses your path. Not in a hurtful way, just a very honest day, where no bullshit is told, when we actually give a fuck about being a decent human being. Huh? Anyone out there?
Fuck… there is a loophole to this though… if you are going to be completely honest for one day, it includes calling yourself on your own bullshit too. Your idiotic excuses to everything that keeps you from moving forward or being who you should be. I’d still do it, it could fucking work.
Bottom line of this video: If the Bible got slavery wrong, how many more things could the Bible have gotten wrong? About human sexuality? About women’s rights? About daily life?
Yet they use its arguments to back up a way of living and thinking (yeah right), based on not questioning and focused on specific agendas of power and control.
If you don’t question your beliefs… If you keep using faith as an excuse not to question what you believe in… If you only use the same source of information to stay convinced in what you believe in… If all you do is hope that what you believe is true without questioning it… If you keep telling yourself, it’s real, it’s real, it has to be real… fuck you. Because deep down, you know when something in the Bible is bullshit and if you refuse to see it or disregard it as historical context, fuck you.
The Bible is really the word of men, and men are full of shit.
Well, just in case, I am not thinking about dying. I just think about death in a very scientific, spiritual, “animalistic” way. I do not want to die, but I have freed myself from the fear of death by accepting it as a natural thing all living things must do at some point. So, if the blog is about suicidal people, I’m not into that very much. If anything, let me know what it is about ok. Hope you are well.
…walking through a path in the woods. Seems like a tornado had cleared a road for me, leaving only a few hundred trunks to jump over and slide under, just so I could get to the shore in the other side… driving back to where I was… I accelerate, I can’t control it, hitting the breaks doesn’t work, the car takes off like a plane… everything moves in slow motion, but my awareness remains in the “present”. With open eyes, images flash, things I did that day, my walk through the woods, beautifully mundane things… then I tumble. The angles are all chaotic, and overwhelmed by this stillness in chaos I realize “I’m dying”. I say it very softly in my head, like a whisper, but it is deep, I feel my voice inside of me… “I’m dying”… then darkness, then light… like the last rays of sunset in the ocean. I fly over the it, the yellow, and orange… the waves… they take me back. Then I wake up.
Problem solvers. Setting up to film a music video for the song “Prytania”. (Taken with instagram)
Holy cow, I was just thinking this song could make an awesome crazy video. I have high expectations you guys. I love this song so much I want to marry it and have little baby songs with it!